Tonight is one of those nights that you are humbled to be alive. That you are grateful for all that you have. That you wish some things you may have said or done could be brought back. 

I was on my way home from HandStands (grateful to be employed) in my beautiful 1996 Subaru Legacy Outback (grateful for a car), actually on the phone with the car insurance company renewing my insurance (grateful for conveniences like that) and had the unsettling feeling to get off the phone and pay attention to the road. Just as i came over the slight hill on Interstate 15 at about 114th south in Sandy, I saw nothing but brake lights, and suddenly there were fenders and glass flying no farther than 2 cars in front of me. 

Skreech.

Cuss Words.

Someone had to have gotten hurt. 

No fewer than 5 cars I am sure. And here I am, right at the tail end of it. Staring. Stunned, while my hazard lights click on and off showing those behind me that I am moving nowhere. 

I saw a Chevy Silverado go airborne. I saw a car mangled to no recognition. 

I also saw witnesses immediately exit their vehicles–one whom was an officer in an unmarked police car.  Another directed Traffic—4 or 5 quickly cared to those involved. The Siverado “pilot” was quick to the aid of the person who launched him into flight. 

Stunned. 

And today was the day that I told myself I was going to drive home slowly–nothing to be at. 

In an effort to not make a bad situation crowded, I decided to move along. I honestly don’t think I could have helped more than having my hazards on to slow people behind me.

I just watched the news to find that the man who was in the car smashed beyond recognition had passed away.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=6222078

I really wish the outcome were different. Cars can be replaced. Limbs, lungs, and especially lives can’t.

Grateful to be alive. Very Grateful to not be involved. My heart aches for, and I pray for the people involved and their families. 

So that is twice in the past 6 months that I dare say I have dodged a bullet (and I am not talking about the clogged arteries and increasing blood pressure). During Thanksgiving I was almost swallowed by what I thought was an Ocean with a vengeance after doing some cliff jumping in Hawaii. Almost worth the risk if you could meet the beautiful girl i was jumping with! Such a simple thing as jumping in water and climbing out totally changed when the tide decided to change and throw me up against the rocks.  

Such a simple thing as driving home changed suddenly for a few people tonight when someone slammed on their brakes. 

Reminds me that I should really not be tailing any cars (EVERYONE–HINT HINT). Or jumping into any Oceans. There go my dreams of living in Los Angeles [not really a dream, just emphasizing bumper to bumper tailing at 65 mph is not smart (I HATE the Lakers--GO JAZZ!!)] or being on “Deadliest Catch”.

Let’s all be grateful, slow down a little bit, and enjoy the drive tomorrow. And stay away from the angry water.

I swear that it will never happen again. 

I know that i shouldn’t have done it. 

There were just so many people doing it and it seemed like a good idea, as if  everyone really wanted to do it. 

I go through high school, college, traveling the world, serving an LDS mission, and all sorts of other experiences and I never even thought of doing it……..but alas, we all time our mistakes perfectly. 

Today is the day of my first regret of 2009. Lost love? no. Devious act? not really. Fired from my job for making too many ‘questionable jokes’? not even close.

Today, I ate the McRib. I will never be the same. 

At least that is what my body from the neck down is telling me…….

I would never wish upon anyone the regret, sorrow, misery, and extreme flatuation that i am now experiencing…….

McRib. You can Mc Shove it Up your Mc A$$. Cause it is Mc Flying out mine.

We all want certain things. We all need certain things. Sometimes we try to make wants into needs rather than actually needing them. The more we make our wants into needs, the more wants we have and then we all of a sudden need everything and it just gets childish. I NEED the entire Hannah Montana Bedspread set with matching bathroom rugs…..

“IF I DON”T GET IT I AM GONNA DIE!!” Could you imagine that ever happening to someone? Well in terms of hannah montnan type’s of things…..not necessarily something like…..penicillin.

I NEED to pay my rent. I NEED to buy healthy food. I NEED to go to work and earn money.

I NEED to go to the Smashing Pumpkins 20th Anniversary Tour performance at the world-renowned Palms Casino Pearl Ampitheater?????

No. But I sure want to.

I need to get into grad school. I need to grow up some more. I need to think about starting a family……..

I want to accurately differentiate the two. Am I selfish to want things….and to do things?

I guess it is just a case by case basis and especially varies person to person.

I need to stop writing about this. Thoughts?

Now the first thing i thought was, ‘if that is the kind of idiots that are voting for Obama, then I am certainly not going to vote for him!’ and then i kind of came to my senses and thought that it would be a great idea for a republican supporter to write that on our beautiful freeways so that it appears that an Obama supporter did it to deter undecided people like me from voting for him.

Ralph Nader is sounding more and more ideal these days……But I have seen the people who vote for him and they are one step shy of the looney bin……Probably the parents of the nimrods who hung from an overpass to paint something retarded on the freeway.

In conclusion, I think that the Tampa Bay Rays are going to win the World Series in 6 games.

The Beastie Boys liked it anyway.

In terms of local leadership and the race for Governor, I think i have made the decision.

But as for President……..wow…..

And I am not really tied to or prone to vote for any political party, sentiment, morality, or anything like that. Vote for the person, not the party.  It was something i learned from my dad, who while working for an ad agency out of college, headed up the democratic campaign because nobody else in the firm would work on a democratic campaign…….

anyway

I really don’t think that either party put forth the best person for the job. Both of them are a joke. One is a little bit better versed than the other, but lacks the experience that the first claims to have. One is accused of being a terrorist while the other is a Maverick. They both have voting history that is not very pleasing to anyone but the extreme left or right wing.

What about all of us in the middle that don’t really give a crap who William Ayers is? Or don’t care that Sarah Palin fired someone? Or that McCain has a failed Marriage or two? Or that Biden can talk us all to sleep? What we care about is what is GOING TO HAPPEN!?!?!

Either way, I don’t think that the best candidates are running, nor do i necessarily think that the best candidates came forward for this election–even to the primaries. Who would want to clean up the mess that the current President has created?

Long story short: this years election, more than any others, reminds me of the BRILLIANT episode of South Park where the school children had to vote for a new mascot because PETA threatened to sue the school if they had a cow for their mascot. When it came down to it, two new mascots were selected and the students would vote on which one they prefered more than the other.

“A Giant Douche” or a “turd Sandwhich”

I would recommend watching it some time. Also brings up a “beef” that I have with PETA in some recent ads that they have put on billoards around salt lake saying that cows milk has a direct link to autism….but that is for another day. I do admire their nude protests though.

Go nuts, try to suade me to one side or the other.

Anyway, the reason that last year was so exciting likely because I am from Utah. And an awesome New Years party around here means triscuits, cheese logs, and a never ending game of Settlers of Katan…or Catan….whatever. Not that I have any problem with that, especially the cheese log that tastes like smoked bacon, but i really need to try something new!

So a co-worker threw out a challenge to me that normally goes against anything that I believe in during the holidays and cold winter months which is all about being lazy, eating as much as possible, and hibernating:

Run a freakin 5k before midnight.

http://www.active.com/page/Event_Details.htm?event_id=1639848&assetId=c168c558-b734-403d-870a-e1fd521cebe3

There reason I tell you this, is that I need some of you to remind me to get my fat but off the couch and get running again. The whole idea is that you finish the race before midnight, giving you exactly 30 minutes to do it. Add in the fact that it will be freezing cold seems to be slowing me already, and since the last time I ran a 5K i did it in 32 min–I worry whether or not I can finish by midnight.

Which is why i am coming out of the closet here and announcing a small goal to rock this race.

Otherwise, I will just have to win the award for coldest costume and we all no how things end up looking when it is cold………………..

the end

I blame it on church. I learned something at church that changed my life. Almost as if I were going there WANTING to learn something.

Not to get all preachy, but it was a good experience.

And since I learned so much in one meeting alone, I decided to go home right after that and cook some dinner.

Based on your perspective, I am either a sunday school sluffer, or a really good cook. You be the judge.

First, we got on the wrong trail and had to back track for over an hour, which had us actually starting on the correct trail at about 1:30 am.

Second, someone hid the elevator to this thing cause as far as I could tell, there were nothing but narrow trails and switchbacks all the way to the top.

Third, I am not exactly in shape, so the aforementioned elevator would have come in handy. In shape or not, people around this area talk about hiking Mt. Timp like it is a simple trip to the grocery store to buy a can of olives rather than the reality which is more like getting a root canal done by a circus clown whom has no opposable thumbs.

So we start up the mountain and either we pass, or get passed by, crowds of bright smiling faces of people that think it is the most wonderful thing to be up at 2 in the morning, wandering their way up a mountain staring at the 18″ rocky trail ahead of them with nothing but a light strapped to their head as a guide.  They were all so happy and so much of it just didn’t make sense.

Then I realized it: Zoobies.

I wish I could describe for you all what a Zoobie is, but unless you have met one, you really have no clue. A Zoobie or Zooby is someone who attends BYU located in Provo, UT. They are all bright, energetic, happy, excited, prone to be married by age 22, honor code signing, knee short sportin, people who have an activity every night of the week and are somehow able to manage working 3 jobs, raising a family, and attending 18 credit hours of school all at the same time. An absolutely incredible species.

I wasn’t able to confirm that the specimens we witnessed were actual Zoobies until the sun actually came up, at which point i saw “cougar blue” t-shirts promoting the football team, BYU student association, or some sacred scripture that was used out of context to make it promote a certain agenda.

We got to “the lake” which is the place you stop at and think to yourself such questions as: ” why did I do this? Why am I so fat? Why do I not have any food left? Where did those mountain goats come from? Where is the helicopter pad? where is that damn elevator? Where do babies come from? DO I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE SUMMIT OF THIS MOUNTAIN?!?!?”

I answered that last question by simply falling asleep in the cold blown meadow with the mountain goats and tried to keep warm the best i could while the last two stragglers in the crew went to the top.

So i wake up an hour or so later and decide that it may be time to get back down. The decent begins and not more than 300 yds down the trail, I hear a familiar tune being sung—nay, screamed and sung by some distant group of hikers. The familiar tune? It was the main theme from Lord of the Rings.  And they were singing it as a soundtrack as if they were on a journey with a bunch of short hairy people with a ring to take to the top of timpanogas and cast it into a burning pit.

And as we saw them closer on the trail. sure enough…..blue t-shirts….bright smiles….hopes of marriage gleaming in all of their faces…….Zoobies.

In terms of an FYI, if you are not in shape do not do this hike. Though going up was bad, the decent was even worse and I don’t think my knees will ever forgive me.  I do vow however to get in shape, and get to the top of that mountain. Hopefully i can make my own soundtrack for this journey with a couple of coconut shells.

I should have known.

ANYWAY, back on track here. Or TRAX which is another mode of transportation for me. I get on TRAX at 9th south, take it to 100 south, take a bus to 123rd south, and then ride my bike to 146th south in Blufdale–right next to the prison.

The Prison is situated at the bottom of a hill, so the road going around the Prison is on that hill. On my way to work I have to take a slow gradual grade up this thing till i get to the top just to plumit right down another road to get to my office. On the way back, it is a quick ascent to the top leaving you without a breath–well at least for me it did–and then you take the slow gradual decent.

Murphy’s law is in full force proving that the wind always blows in the opposite direction of the way you are pedaling.

Tonight I get out of work around 8:30 and take off in an effort to catch the 915 bus to the TRAX station where I will meet my awesome nephew Derek. The sunset was so pretty and the wind wasn;t even noticable so i decided to ride all the way to the station without worrying about the bus. my ride increased to 13 miles today.

sweet.

So the best part is at the station. Sitting there waiting for the train with Derek and there is a mother holding her what seems like a newborn infant in her arms. Then, as if to prove that there has to be a crazy person on at least every train, a woman shows up with a yellow BMX bike, looking very tom-boyish and boasts her home depot branded t-shirt. She looks at the mother with the infant and says:
“How old is your baby?” in a stark smokers voice.

“One month” she softly replies in order to not wake her child clearly expressing that she doesn’t really want to speak to anyone.

“Is this your first kid?” continues Ms. Home Depot,

“No, she isn’t”

“Thats what I was thinkin cause you look like you had more than one.”

…….

to which every jaw that was connected to a face that is connected to a head that has ears to hear literally drops to the ground and turns to see the death of one woman at the hands of a sleepless mother.

Just goes to show that in life, there are always people who want to say stuff, they just don’t always say the right thing. Not that i am a shining example of how to hold my tongue either but wow….his lady. God bless the crazies on UTA.